Trump Card.

16th August 2017

So as all the people get up and out of bed to tackle the day Alfie and Maggie go back to bed for their 2nd sleep.

Nothing new there you’re thinking? Well that probably wouldn’t be the words my husband would use. He has had the pleasure of Alfie’s company from 04.20am.

Alfie was adamant he was wide awake this morning at this early hour and was not impressed at us grown ups trying to roll back over and carry on sleeping.

So as we were not up to entertaining him, he made it his goal to love my husband awake. Now Alfies idea of loving someone awake is probably better described as a torture routine as he sat by my husband’s head, bottom in full profile and relentlessly began grooming and licking his bits to the point the noises he made were like a new born sucking on a bottle.

To add to this indiscretion he also began a triumphant round of farting and we all know how vile dig farts can be and Alfie is no exception… 

But the trump card was when my husband suddenly leapt out of bed , spitting and spluttering ” Urgh man Alfie, get your d**k outta my face” (at this point I was sausage rolled in the duvet up to my eyes trying not to snigger.) Alfie had decided he loved Colin so much that he wanted to lie over his face with his ‘bits strategically placed in full view, if not on his eyeballs.

Needless to say Colin got out of bed and submitted to an early morning walk…


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