Here’s the last of our pet introductions…
Lord Pig the first of his name. King of the magnificent. The bearer of the cloud tail and mane of masculinity. He is in no doubt that he is the most perfect feline of his time and no form of admiration is beneath him.
He is also sometimes a right tw*t. As lets face he is a cat and us people are beneath him. Don’t get me wrong what Pig sometimes lacks in ‘people skills’ he makes up for by the bucket load in personality.
Pig is in his prime. He’s five years old and we fell in love with him at first sight (although we thought he was a girl.) Indeed when we went in search of a cat, I was very much out numbered 5:1 on the boy/girl ratio. I mean come on, even our dog was a boy at the time.
I fell for Pig straight away, he was gorgeous. The husband quickly confirmed it was a girl and off we went. We even had a name ready, Olivia. So she came home with us and that first week everybody came to meet her and life was purrrfect (see what I did there 😉) this bliss continued for a while too until…
Oh boy bits! So out came the boy names Oscar, Ozzie, Pig. We couldn’t call our cat Pig could we? Well after he pulled a frozen pork joint off the kitchen bench one day and ate through the packaging and the joint. Yes we blumming well could…
Now Pig is the most feminine looking cat you’ve ever seen, so much so, he’s always being mistook for a ‘she’. He’s also a right worky ticket, loves people, loves attention and has no fear. This has been a little bit of a problem between the hours of 07.30 am and 17.30pm. You see we both work in a school, well not just work but we also live onsite and well Pig is kinda famous at school.
He may have, climbed through windows, into meetings and classrooms, greeting children and teachers. He also may have overtook the bosses office chair one weekend when the window was left open (sshhhhh it’s our secret.)
Then there’s the carpark and cars. He’s quite happy to throw himself down infront of your car and roll around magnificently for you to admire him. It doesn’t stop there mind, no, don’t you leave your car windows open or open your boot or door while he’s about. He’s royalty you know, you must be opening it for him.
Needless to say, he’s kept indoors between the hours of 07.30am and 17.30pm now.
His love doesnt end here though. He loves all visitors who come through the gates (including Ofsted) but he loves the dogs too. Yes he can be a right bell end, winding them up, taking their food off them and deliberately rolling on his side of the room (because he knows the dogs are not allowed over the boundary.) But on the flipside, he goes out with them on walks, head butts them and sees them as family (lesser family members) but family. I mean presents, when we had one dog, once a week he brought a mouse for her. Two dogs, once a week he brought two mice back. Three dogs…you get the idea. So he does love them.
Certainly that is the way it should be. Pig needs to be higher in the pack than the dogs. He needs to be top dog, we have terriers, ratters, not one but three, a mini pack. No chances taken here. If we are not about the cat and dogs ARE separated, it’s just not worth the risk to any of them.