Indiana Jones or Panic…

Christmas is over, the new year here. We saw the new year come in in style too. In our beds, snuggled up with the wee whities – because that’s how we roll. We did pull out all the stops and watch Harry Potter on the tv before we went to bed, Mr 3WD&P even had an alcoholic beverage (check him out.) To be honest we’ve never been one for new year drunken celebrations, preferring home and family to chaos. Not that the three white dogs complained as they got cuddles and treats galore – so all in all a nice evening Barr a few noisy fireworks.

And this morning, well we are having a sleepy, lazy morning. The rain is chucking it down outside, the dogs are happy snuggled under the blankets- showing no sign of wanting to go out. We may just have a jarmy day and why not – I mean we were up at 4am this morning (did I mention all the treats the dogs got last night.) Yeah, maybe wasnt our greatest idea – what goes in must come out. 
Thus at 4am this morning the husband was on his hands and knees mumbling about new years morning cleaning up shit and it better not be a metaphor of the year to come. Now isn’t it typical that when nature calls and the dogs are caught on the hop – they always choose the softest, fluffiest and hardest to clean rug – it’s never the fecking hard flooring is it. To make it even worse they also seem to have a setting where they can turn their bowels and poop into a perfectly coloured match with the rug and dispense it in not one area but usually two or three and let’s face at four in the morning your eyesight is not great…
Now we are all familiar with cleaning up after our four pawed friends and after a time, collecting a warm heap of shit bagged in your hands becomes just routine – the gagging stops – unless it’s a rather rank ejection. So when you get a cold, rather slimey sensation between your toes, in the dark, at 4am in the morning, followed by an offensive smell. It can go one on two ways. 
You can either go with the Dr Indiana Jones and start navigating the safe spaces on the floor in the dark for a quick exit (one footed) or you can panic – stand in every bit of shit (or worse fall in it) – while also wretching uncontrollably. Mr 3WD&P went all Indiana… 
It was at this precipice I had to decide whether I was going to acknowledge the disaster and offer support or roll over and pretend to be asleep until the whole episode had been dealt with. I chose the former (you all though I was going to pretend to be asleep didn’t you – you know me so well but I didn’t this time.) Now you can spot the guilty dog in this house a mile off – it is usually the one wagging it’s tail vigorously and smiling at you! It was Rosie Posey. Bless her cotton socks, she’s such a nervous soul when accidents happen – I’m sure she thinks we are going to beat her or peel her skin off or something  (god knows what’s happened in her past homes.) 
So as the husband finished off cleaning up and deourderising everything I got down to the floor to reassure little Rosie – after about ten minutes of cuddles she came out of her spot and toddled back to bed – as Mr 3WD&P popped the cleaning equipment out back – standing in more shit on the sunrooms carpet his way out! 
So Rosie and I pretended to be asleep…

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