I really hate Maggie sometimes – like in the middle of the night when she is lying next to me and she plays dead. You see Maggie has always slept next to me and subconsciously I must look for her and touch her during the night. This is not the problem though.
The problem is that she is such a deep sleeper and I have lost count of the amount of times I have woke up in terror thinking she is dead – weirdo you are maybe thinking at this point. Let me explain.
Maggie sleeps on top of the covers and while subconsciously in a sleep state I am touching her, I must also be intune to her. So as the temperature drops during the night, she can sometimes feel cool to touch – hence I begin to stroke her and seek out her heart beat. However, she is such a shallow breather meaning often it is hard to catch her heart and rib cage extending. This moves us onto shaking her slightly (I’m still sleepy at this point) this usually does not have any effect on Maggie and she does not rouse or react in the slightest.
We are now onto the phase where my brain pings me wide awake – putting together her drop of temperature and still state together and coming up with the worst case scenario. Then triggers the adrenaline and me sitting up right in bed, frantically shaking Maggie to get a reaction – all the while my heart is in my mouth and I am beating Mr 3WD&P awake.
Maggie does indeed at this point acknowledge my presence but she is not in a rush to do so and neither does it with great exertance. Frankly, you are lucky if you get a headlift – as usually she just looks at you like you have lost the plot through one eye, snorts at you and goes back to sleep. This is great as she is fine but there is no way I am going back to sleep after that horrendous experience.
So sometimes I hate Maggie – why can she not be a snorer or farter like Willie and Rosie – at least that way I will definitely know she is okay – stupid brain!