Wild Willie has been up to no good today, while rampaging up and down the hills causing mayhem and destruction he happened to come across some treasure. Treasure that he took a shine too and decided would be his to love and adore forever. You see poor Lord Willie is a sad and deprived lad, he is rarely spoilt or treated well (or at least as well as he thinks he should be.) Never does he get the finest steak dinners, fresh tuna steaks or even a good olde butcher sausage.

Neither does he get adorned with new rags or accessories and a grand pampering is never on the books; no brushing, massaging of limps, soft kisses or tuck ins at night time for him. The most heartbreaking thing though, he only has a handful of torn, broken and abused toys (he has forty – I counted, they are uncontainable in the small toy box.) Mummy and daddy are mean parents and will not buy new ones. So when Willie found a rag rope on the field, it became his – his very own toy – to add to the forty others. Willie is correct by the way, all the toys are broken, torn and dismal, however, that is because of his lordship himself, as he is a brute…

Neither does Willie share well not where toys are concerned, so when Maggie pinched his new found treasure he was gutted but all is fair in love and war. I mean before Willie, Maggie had a beautiful toy box, full of loved, well cared for toys – all in immaculate condition. Unlike now, where they are all headless with missing eyes and other appendtures – for he kills everything and we won’t even go into his reaction to squeaky toys – it’s horrifying…

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