Oh choices, choices, lots of choices…

Who to write about today?

Do I write about Lord Willie and his toothless smile, or Pigcat the magnificent with his dark woodland oak paint stripe down his back or Wee Maggie and her potty mouth?

To many choices but there is a definite winner here…

We have a criminal master mind living in our home, a sneak thief, a crafty crook, a long legged pocket pincher…

Let’s write about our newest recruit – wee Nessie. Nessie has just fitted in lovely here, indeed you think she had always been part of the pack. We’ve had no squrmushes or pecking order fusses – nothing. She has just quietly slipped in the fold and fitted (metaphorically) as physically she’s a bit odd compared to Lord Willie, Maggie and Pigcat who are two foot high, compared to her Blackpool tower legs…

She’s been here now two/ coming up three weeks? That’s a reasonable settling period for most – you know that period where best behaviour is on show. I mean cmon we have all come into contact with one person who seems practically perfect in everyway but the thing is – it’s a hard thing to keep up, things slip. Well Naughty Nessie (for that is what we have named her this weekend) is this such person but with four paws instead of two legs.

I haven’t noticed the wind blowing in a different direction, or a full magical moon hovering over head, neither has her diet changed and she can definitely can only get out of one side of her bed, so I can’t pin any of those excuses on her – she’s just being a naughty Nessie (or maybe she’s just coming out of her shell) but by this time your are probably all on the edge of your seat – poised – hanging on – desparate to find out what she’s been up too…

Well, let me list the victims this weekend…

One rather (delightfully looking) homemade lemon cake – the whole cake!

Half a pint of milk.

Two Marshmellows (the big ones)

One bowl of catfood.

A bar of soap.

Willies rat.

Three dental sticks (hers + Willie’s + Maggies)

A roll of toilet paper

The Dyson.

Oh and she can open doors – cracking trick that is…

So yes look at the photos. Awh at how cute she is but her farts do not smell of lemon cake and soap (as pleasant as that would be) and that space you’ve kept dog free, so you can get dressed without your clothes looking like they have come from the seventies, complete with hand knitted goat wool that’s been statically charged to practically electrocute you to the millennium – it’s Kapoot – because she can open the doors and sleep anywhere she likes. I say sleep but I’ve come to the conclusion she’s actually reproducing a replica of herself to even out the odd number of dogs in the house because dang – the hair, that girl can malt…

So when anyone sayes do Westies malt – no they do not – they merely gift you an essence of themselves so you too can be as awesome – because if the malted anything like Nessie – they’d be BALD…

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