I’m going to s**t in your shoes later…

Pigcat is feeling slightly disgruntled this week. Not only has the weather turned moist and wet but his usual haunt and hunting ground has been invaded – by an ever growing family of Magpies.

What’s the matter with that you may be thinking but the think is Pigcat has spent the upmost of his life tormenting the said Magpies, generally terrorising them and hunting for thier homes and babies. However, as mummy and daddy Magpie have matured over the years they have cottoned on to Pigcats terror (and can now spot him a mile away.)

This in turn has meant that as eggs are laid and hatched Pigcat has been bullied and harassed by demon swooping Magpies, pecking him on the head and chasing him away. So much so that that the Magpie clan has flourished. So who is being terrorised now – Well Pigcat of course…

His humiliation is clear on his face, as is the look of demasculation feeds through but this is not the worst part. He has always assumed he is the centre of the world and that everyone and thing is there for him by his grace. So imagine his horror at realising this page is called ‘Three White Dogs and Pig’. The cheek of it – his name is not even first – it’s at the end. What a disgrace.

He will not forget this – he’s going to shit in our shoes tonight 🤣

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