Lies all lies…

My fellow comrades, some of you may have heard some horrid and dispicable lies about me, Lord Willie, first of my name. It has come to my attention that I have been wrongly accused of foul play. Suggestions have been made that I…I…

I’m so sorry, I just cannot find the words to portray my full horror and embarrassment. I am still shocked at such callousness. The belittling of my proud heritage and good character have shook me down to my paws. How dare such accusations be made of me. Do they not know of my royal and majestic breed. Can they not see my pride is hurt?

I deny all knowledge and protest my innocence. It was not me but Lady Maggie, just look at the CCTV footage. Look at her sitting suspiciously at the door. You can see the devilment in her eyes, the intent. Daddy believes me (although he sniggered and laughed at first) but her, HER indoors – oh the humiliation.

I did NOT and NEVER do such things. They are beneath me. I am of royal blood, refined and cultured. How dare she publicity humiliate me. Look at me, the pain and hurt plain to see on my face. My most humble and loyal subjects I swear on my fluffy Wabbit I did not commit this crime …

It was Maggie who was farting yesterday not me – I deny all knowledge and I will forever hold to my innocence, please believe me.

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