Have you ever noticed a funny smell in your house but never managed to pin point it?
To then go each day convinced it’s getting worse, to the point you become obsessed about it?
Yes? Well then sympathise with me. For days we have caught a wafted of something as we walked passed our man child’s bedroom, tutting at the stench that seeps into the rest of the house (bearing in mind it is a teenage boys man cave.)
For days we have beasted and pestered the said man child to tidy and deep clean his pit of doom, threatening to intervene and throw everything out.
And for days our son has pleaded innocence and promised of hour long cleaning tirades. Peace has left our home life behind as we have battled out the war of the smell and all the while Pigcat, seemingly oblivious to any smell has carried on sleeping.
Even this morning as I got out of bed, I was hounded with complaints of how disgusting the man children were and the smells they were leaving on going to college. As Mr 3WD&P slammed doors and sprayed a febreeze cloud around himself like it was his favourite cologne.
And indeed as I came home this afternoon, the smell was more pungent than ever before, however the manchildren were still out, at college? Surely the smell could not get worse while they were out?
Slowly I opened the manchilds bedroom door – and then closed it just as quick. My eyes poured, my nostrils burned. Yes this was definitely the crime scene. Tearfully I peered into the room again and as I peeked past the door Pigcat lifted his head in peaked interest but then changed his mind and rolled over – how on earth was he not retching like me?
I called on drastic measures, calling Mr 3WD&P home from work, begged him to investigate and seek out the horrid smell and stood patiently on the other side of the (closed) door. I listened, over looking the vile language and cursing off my beloved husband as he rummaged under the man child’s bed.
Not five minutes had passed when Mr 3WD&P began to rather crossly (but excitedly) announce that he had found the culprit and tonight we will be apologising to our man child, whom we have plagued all weekend, accusing him of a crime he did not commit for Pigcat is not sleeping in his bed anymore, he slunk quietly out of the window as we tidied up.
For you see Pigcat is the culprit – him and his decaying present, for under the bed Mr 3WD&P found a nice big dead juicy rat…