Willie: Mam…
Mam: What is it Willie?
Willie: She’s touching me!
Mam: Whose touching you?
Willie: Ginny is touching me!
Mam: No she’s not Willie, Ginny is in her own car seat strapped in. She can’t touch you.
Willie: Mam she’s doing it again, she’s touching me, I don’t want her touching me!
Mam: For goodness sake Willie, she’s not touching you.
Willie: LOOK, LOOK. MAAAMMM, SHES TOUCHING ME NOW!
Mam: Don’t you dare make me pull this car over Willie (quickly checks on Ginny.) She’s not touching you. She is just resting her head on your car seat.
Willie: Well that’s like the same thing. It’s my car seat and she’s touching it, so it’s like she’s touching me.
Mam: Seriously Willie son, she just loves you and wants to be near you, stop being horrid!
Willie: turns his back to Ginny and snorts in disgust.
Willie : MAAAMMM, SHE’S BREATHING ON ME.
Mam: Oh for goodness sake Willie, she’s not breathing on you or touching you OR even looking at you. Ignore her and look out of the window.
Willie : it’s not fair, you always take her side – I hate you.
Mam: Don’t you make me get out of this car Willie or else. Just move away from her.
Willie: I don’t want too. I was here first.
Mam: Seriously Willie, you are like six years old. That’s like forty two in people years, Ginny is not even one, less than three a half in people years. Be the adult.
Willie: Why can’t Maggie have her? There’s loads of space on her side. I wanna sit in the front, she’s still touching me!
Mam: Right that’s it I’m ringing daddy…
Willie: Silence.
Mam: rolls her eyes.
Willie: Snorts, turns his back on Mam and squashes his face up against the car window in a huff while Ginny: Stares off into space no idea what’s just gone on and Maggie: Continues to snore while sleeping upside down.
And they say kids are a nightmare travelling in the car…
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