Brenda #notBrenda

One day last week I was asked why I didn’t wear designer clothes or get my hair and nails done regularly. At the time I shrugged my shouldersand moved on but over the week I steadily got more and more annoyed that I did not have a quick, witty reply…

So Brenda here it is (it was not a lady called Brenda. I made that s**t up, I don’t know anyone called Brenda – I think?) But if I do – Brenda I am sorry – it was not you…

I don’t wear designer clothes, hair or nails (even when my children are all older and don’t need me) because I am too busy collecting dogs and when I’m not collecting dogs I’m spoiling them and when I’m not spoiling my dogs I’m spending money on auctions buying stuff I don’t really need but kind of like to support tens of millions of dogs I don’t know and will probably never meet.

And you’re right I could work out more and be thinner if I went to the gym more (because my kids are older and don’t need me anymore) but unfortunately I am constantly racing around the house trying to hide the said things I’ve bought from the dog auctions from my husband. While also shoving food in my mouth in nanosecond time so the dogs don’t see and I won’t feel guilty and feel the need to make them posh people food eggs to repent…

Oh and I don’t give a fudge what you think anyway!

#Ilovemydogstheyarenicerthatpeopleanywaytwat

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